The Scary Truth Behind Online Dating
Lots of people flock to online dating apps as a way to find love in the modern world. However, there are many downsides to putting yourself online and asking for romance. There are a lot of hidden consequences behind online dating, especially when it comes to women’s safety. We’re shedding light on the physical dangers and psychological red flags that women are currently encountering in the online dating scene. You may be very surprised by what is going on in the online dating world and why it is all happening.
Studies Show Violence Against Women Is Skyrocketing
This is a global issue that has been increasingly under observation since the start of the pandemic. The number of women calling helplines has increased throughout the United States. Even spousal murders have grown since 2020.
Globally, 1 in every 3 women will experience intimate partner violence. This study also noted a global increase in domestic violence.
Online Harassment Is Also On The Rise
52 percent of all adults claimed they were harassed online in 2023. That’s a rise from the 40 percent reported the year before. Of course, this seems to be a deeply gendered issue.
According to the White House, approximately 85 percent of women have experienced online harassment globally. The same paper notes that 1 in every 3 US women under 35 experienced stalking and online harassment.
A 2023 survey also revealed that 3 in 4 dating app users have experienced abuse while on the dating app of their choice. Alarming, right?
Why Is This Happening?
To a point, there may be some psychology at play. It’s way easier to be rude and callous when you are hiding behind a computer screen. Trolls know this and thrive on it.
Studies show that people tend to be ruder and more aggressive when they are online than when they’re talking to you directly. One study noted that 39 percent of people left a cruel remark online because they were upset about something.
One Of The Leading Causes Seems To Be Social Media
It’s obvious, right? Social media has been increasingly toxic for almost everyone. In circles like the Red Pill or the manosphere, men often end up pushing toxic beliefs and behaviors on one another. One of the most common behaviors encouraged? Sexual harassment online.
Harvard postdoc student Miriam Lindner explained, “I posit that hateful online communities allow low-status men to engage in virtual or simulated coalitional bargaining with a sympathetic audience of like-minded others, providing private but futile satisfaction…They are trying to prove their potency, their mattering, their ability to wield power by inflicting harm. “
Studies Show Online Harassment Is A Way Of Taking Back Power
Miriam Lindner is far from the only one to note that harassment and misogyny are power plays affected by group dynamics. An earlier study revealed that men who are not doing well in life turn to online harassment as a form of taking back power.
One experiment showed that men were far more likely to harass women who outperformed them at a task like video gaming. In other words, men who harass often feel intimidated or otherwise cheated out of a life they felt they were entitled to.
Considering How Hard Times Are, It’s Not Surprising That Men May Feel Cornered
Most of the things that were easier for men to accomplish are now fairly difficult. Most men can’t support a family on a single salary. In fact, most men might also be struggling to pay the bills. Healthcare is poor, social standards are higher, and it just keeps getting harder.
If this theory is true, then it would make sense that harassment would grow during tumultuous times. It clearly doesn’t excuse their abuse. However, there may be another (more disgusting) reason for the rise in harassment.
A Survey Revealed That Some Men Do It For Kicks
Disgusted yet? It gets worse. A survey of Egyptian men who admitted to harassment revealed that as many as 90 percent of men do it for “fun and excitement.”
If you had that alarming feeling that some men genuinely enjoy terrorizing women online, you are sadly correct. That survey alone proved it.
Most Online Dating Apps Struggle With Keeping Users Secure
If you were hoping that giving abusive, aggressive daters a permaban would fix things, you would be mistaken. Online dating apps struggle with keeping dangerous men off their sites.
Getting reports about women’s safety concerns can only do so much, and sly stalkers can find ways around an app ban. Moreover, the vast majority of dating apps do not require a background check for their users. Online dating is a serious safety gamble.
App Makers Are Trying To Offer Better Help, But It’s All About Knowing How To React
While some platforms now insist that people confirm they’re not sex offenders, the bulk of the responsibility for safety is still placed on users. Unfortunately, this means that women have to screen their dates well, keep their names anonymous, do a video chat first, and then meet in a public place.
A good rule of thumb is that you should not reply to any harassing messages you get. Instead, take a screenshot and store it. If an online harasser threatens you, take the evidence to the police and alert the dating app.
This Will Probably Get Worse Before It Gets Better
It’s hard to tell what will stop the harassment on dating apps, but something has to. Online dating has become increasingly common, but the truth is that most people are getting exhausted with the risks it comes with.
Either the app makers are going to step up their safety or people will quit the apps. It’s just that simple.
How To Protect Yourself In The Real World
Knowing how to approach online dating safely can be tough, especially for women who did not grow up with the internet. As a rule of thumb, only accept dates during the day and in venues where other people will be present. Let your friends know where you are going and keep them updated throughout the night on how your date is going and whether you feel safe.
How To Protect Yourself Online
Sometimes, however, you can figure out whether someone is worth meeting from their profile. For instance, is there lots of information there, or is the man you are about to date sharing the bare minimum? What about the pictures? Meeting this guy might not have been a great idea if none of them showed his face. Lastly, see how your communication via text or phone call is going. Does he seem polite, kind, and understanding?
Considering Other Forms Of Dating
If online dating is becoming too scary for you, remember there are plenty of other forms. Ask your friends whether they know someone who may be a good fit for you or join a new course or activity to get to know new people. Meeting people this way tends to be way safer as it allows you to get to know the person in front of you before going out on a date.
Don’t Generalize
While data clearly show an increase in men’s hostility in the dating world, it’s important not to generalize. Despite this harmful trend, plenty of good guys are out there worth dating, so don’t give up entirely. Stay safe, try other forms of dating if you don’t want to meet a stranger, and you’ll soon find a good match.
Considering The Single Lifestyle
Considering how bad the online dating situation is, more and more people are choosing a single lifestyle. While this may not be for everyone, we must all spend some time without a partner. This is fundamental to learning how to be happy independently instead of relying on a spouse. This single lifestyle has plenty of positives. You will be able to enjoy complete freedom and will never have to compromise with anyone.
Never Go Alone
If you decide to meet a date in person, you should never go alone. Consider bringing a friend with you on the date or, at the very least, meeting in a public place. With 50% of people setting up fake accounts online in order to scam others and 11% of women reporting that they were threatened with physical harm, you should always have trusted people nearby. You may feel like you know the person you have been chatting with on the computer, but, in reality, you really don’t. Do not meet them alone if you want to be smart and stay safe.
