16 Common Signs of Unresolved Trauma That Shouldn’t Be Overlooked

Your childhood experiences leave a lasting mark, shaping who you are long after you’ve grown up. Trauma from those early years, whether it’s neglect, a natural disaster, or something else entirely, can linger beneath the surface and show up in surprising ways. It may have happened in the past, but it really never goes away.

Drawing insights from Bessel van der Kolk, MD, and his groundbreaking book The Body Keeps the Score, we’re unpacking the signs of unresolved childhood trauma that everyone should learn and know. If any of these resonate with you, seeking professional help could be the first step toward healing and living your best life. It’s never too late to rewrite your story and truly move on from the past.

Note: The content of this article is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice. Always consult with a qualified professional for advice tailored to your individual circumstances.

Difficulty Trusting Others

A hallmark of unresolved childhood trauma is the inability to trust others easily. This stems from past experiences where trust may have been broken, leading to a defensive stance in adult relationships. If you find it hard to rely on others or constantly fear betrayal, it might be rooted in unaddressed trauma.

Emotional Numbness

Many who have experienced childhood trauma cope by emotionally disconnecting as a defense mechanism. This numbness can prevent them from fully experiencing joy or sadness, often leading to a sense of isolation. Recognizing this can help you seek different ways to reconnect with your emotions.

Chronic Anxiety

Unresolved trauma often manifests as chronic anxiety and can show up in your life daily as different anxious thoughts and feelings, often fixating on things that aren’t the root cause of it (like relationships, finances, etc.). This can be a constant feeling of unease or fear that something bad is about to happen. It’s the body’s way of remaining in a state of high alert, a residual of past traumatic experiences.

Difficulty With Healthy Relationships

Past trauma can affect how we interact with others, making it challenging to form healthy, stable relationships and keep them around. This might include patterns of pushing people away, clinging too tightly, or perhaps clinging to the comfort of instability you’re used to. Both stem from fear of abandonment or betrayal.

Low Self-Esteem

Traumatic childhood experiences often lead to a diminished sense of self-worth. You might constantly doubt your abilities or feel unworthy of love and respect. This low self-esteem can hinder personal and professional growth and experiences and prevent you from going after the things you want in life with confidence.

Hypervigilance

Being excessively alert to potential dangers is another sign of unresolved trauma. This hypervigilance, where you’re constantly looking for threats because it’s what you’re subconsciously used to, can be exhausting and affect your ability to relax and enjoy life. Plus, it keeps your body and mind in an incredibly tense state.

Difficulty Regulating Emotions

If you struggle with managing your emotions, such as experiencing intense anger, sadness, or fear over minor triggers, it could be a sign of unresolved trauma from your childhood that’s still showing up in your adult life. Regulating emotions is crucial for maintaining mental and emotional health and helps you navigate life more easily.

Persistent Feelings Of Guilt And Shame

Childhood trauma often instills deep-seated feelings of guilt or shame, even when unwarranted, because, as children, we’re like sponges. We don’t understand things beyond ourselves, which causes us to blame ourselves. These feelings can permeate various aspects of your life, making it difficult to enjoy accomplishments or view yourself positively.

Avoiding Certain Situations

One common coping mechanism for dealing with past trauma is avoiding places, people, or situations that remind you of the traumatic experience. While this strategy may offer some short-term relief for how you think and feel, it can also restrict your ability to engage in life fully and hinder the healing process.

Overachieving

Some people cope with trauma by becoming overachievers, constantly striving for perfection to compensate for feelings of inadequacy. While success is commendable, and discipline is an important characteristic to have in adulthood, it’s important to recognize when it’s driven by unresolved pain and desire.

Substance Abuse

This one may be a bit obvious, but the constant use of alcohol or drugs to soothe your past trauma and memories is unfortunately common. Substance abuse serves as a temporary escape but ultimately exacerbates the underlying issues, making it crucial to seek healthier coping strategies for you to use.

Recurring Nightmares And Flashbacks

Experiencing vivid nightmares or flashbacks that transport you back to traumatic events is a significant sign of unresolved trauma. These intrusive memories can disrupt your daily life and mental health, signaling a need for professional support. Not only that, but they start to interrupt the quality of your sleep.

Difficulties Concentrating

Unfortunately, people still dealing with childhood traumas may have difficulty concentrating on a task. Their focus may keep shifting, meaning they have an incredibly hard time getting things done quickly and not letting other minor tasks get in the way. This difficulty in maintaining focus can be quite detrimental, affecting all aspects of someone’s life.

Messed-Up Boundaries

Those dealing with unresolved childhood trauma often have a hard time setting up healthy boundaries to protect their mental health. For instance, some may let people use them and talk to them disrespectfully as they were taught that people treating you badly is normal. On the other hand, those having too rigid boundaries may be trying to protect themselves.

Behavioral Patterns

Many people who struggle with unresolved trauma tend to easily fall into unproductive behavioral patterns. They may have problems processing information and changing their behavior, even if experience tells them that change is best. Trauma patients tend to act in predictable ways, even if those patterns are bad. This can make it difficult to learn and grow as an individual.

Difficulty Engaging

Trauma can create emotional barriers that make it difficult to connect with others. Your past wounds may cause you to feel guarded and distant, making it hard to relate to other people. The pain from unresolved trauma can also distort a person’s perceptions, leading to mistrust or misunderstanding in relationships. People who have experienced childhood trauma might struggle to open up and make it hard to bond with others.

This article was inspired by the book The Body Keeps The Score by Bessel van der Kolk, MD.