These Are The Most Common Signs You’re Masking Childhood Trauma

With more and more people talking about mental health, it’s important to recognize how your childhood can change you. Childhood trauma can seem like no big deal, but it can follow you for decades. Sometimes, we don’t even realize when we’re masking it.

Masking is a way to respond to trauma that involves hiding it or suppressing one’s emotions surrounding a topic. It’s a way to avoid pain related to trauma. These signs suggest that you’re masking it.

Super Conformity

Is your worst nightmare sticking out of a crowd? Do you absolutely, positively need to fit in? Have other people told you that they don’t get the feeling they know the real you? If you were often punished for being yourself or made fun of as “the weird kid,” you likely are masking trauma.

In fact, masking to fit in is often a sign that you greatly need acceptance. If you’re afraid to wear different clothing or say something against the grain, ask yourself if it had something to do with how you were treated as a child.

Panicking Over Small Things

Have you ever seen a high-achieving person who seems totally fine one minute and then suddenly gets extremely angry and frustrated the next? Usually, you might notice it during a moment of critique or dissension from a coworker. Believe it or not, this might be a sign that they’re masking.

People who felt unsafe and out of control in their childhoods often become perfectionists later on. Their mask often drops when they feel threatened, unsafe, or out of control.

Not Saying “No”

Masking is all about hiding the trauma you have as a coping mechanism. One of the more common ways people mask childhood trauma is by doing people-pleasing things. Most commonly? It’s an inability to say no that gives it away.

A person who was abused might try to avoid conflict (or even the potential of conflict) by not saying no. If they can’t hold boundaries well, that can be a sign of masking childhood trauma. (Or really, any type of trauma involving abuse.)

Silence

In many cases, masking is more about what people don’t say than what they do say. People who develop PTSD at any age often mask their trauma by refusing to talk about it. In fact, they may not even talk about anything related to it at all.

If you were diagnosed with PTSD as a child, you probably avoid all discussion of what happened to you. This is one of the most common ways traumatized people cope.

Unusually Cheerful

If you suffer from depression as a result of trauma, then you might also mask the same way a typical depressed person might. People who are very depressed might try to mask their issues by acting very cheerful and upbeat, even when it makes no sense to do so.

The person who is unshakeably happy might be the one suffering the most. Among healthcare practitioners, this is known as “smiling depression.”

Positive Self-Talk

It’s not surprising to hear that childhood trauma often involves a lot of shame, anxiety, and decreased self-esteem. If you were traumatized by bullying or abuse, you might have learned to pick yourself up through positive self-talk.

Unsurprisingly, this can turn into a masking behavior. The more anxious or insecure a traumatized person gets, the more likely they’ll start sounding like a motivational poster on steroids.

Isolation And Withdrawal

Masking is all about trying to hide your emotions. It’s very draining because you’re literally working to hide what you’re really thinking. At times, this can mean that traumatized people might mask by simply making themselves scarce in society.

Socially withdrawing can be a sign that you’re masking something. Whether it’s childhood trauma, depression, PTSD, or anxiety, though, is anyone’s guess.

Fluctuating Feelings

Just because someone is trying to mask trauma doesn’t mean they’re good at masking it. Even the most adept maskers will have their mask drop from time to time.

Medical practitioners note that sudden changes in a person’s behavior could be a sign that they’re masking mental health struggles. This is particularly true if their behavior seems to change the moment they see someone around them.

Public Vs. Private Behavior

It’s important to remember that all masking is done to try to convince others you’re okay. If you notice a friend or family member who is cheerful outside but gloomy when left alone, they’re masking. Being at home (or with very trusted people) allows their mask to fall off without judgment.

Clingy Behavior

Some people might consider this masking, while others might not. Regardless, it’s important to recognize that clinginess is a trauma response. Moreover, it’s a trauma response that regularly pops up as a symptom of childhood trauma as a result of abandonment or uncertain living situations.

People who are used to abandonment or have PTSD may also become codependent or send out cries for help. The truth is that many of these people don’t actually want someone to help them. They are just reliving a childhood trauma.

Discomfort With Affection

People who grew up in households of neglect tend to be traumatized in another way. They tend to yearn for affection, but often won’t have much luck feeling confident in relationships. As a result, they might look visibly uncomfortable when they get hugged by others.

They may openly say they don’t want a relationship, but the truth is they often do. In fact, they really may be desperate for it.

Zoning Out

Did you ever meet someone who sometimes seems like they are stuck in a daze? A common trauma response is disassociation. It basically means that someone is so traumatized they just “blank out” or even feel like they are no longer in their body.

Dissociation is a trait that often develops when it’s unsafe to act out or cry for help. As a result, it’s both masking and a trauma response.