17 Tricks For Sparking a Conversation With Anyone You Meet
Starting a conversation with someone you hardly know can feel uncomfortable and tiring. But there is nothing worse than sitting in silence across from someone you have nothing in common with. Mastering the art of small talk is an important life skill that will help you get through some uncomfortable situations. Check out these useful tips and tricks that can help you start a conversation and keep it going. With these icebreaker tips, you’ll never have to experience that uncomfortable silence again!
Remember Your Humanity
You might be generations apart, but that doesn’t mean you have (literally) nothing in common. You can talk about familiar topics like food, local news, or even the Talk. Every single person has some basic experiences in common. You have to pick something everyone has an opinion about and chat.
Ask Questions About Their Differences
If you want to get someone to warm up to you, politely ask questions about themselves, their culture, and their interests. People love to talk about themselves. More importantly, you’ll get to learn about a different way of life or discover a different mindset. Who knows? You might find more in common than you think.
Focus On Experiences
She’s a hippie; you’re a straight-laced business executive. What can you do to bond? Simple: create experiences that you can both talk about later on. Whether it’s a walk, a class, or even a trip to a restaurant, it doesn’t matter. What matters is that it gives you something to discuss later on.
Compliment Them
Many people who are unusually standoffish (or just “look prickly”) are simply concerned that they will be judged by others. This is particularly true with subcultures that look intimidating, such as goths or artists. The easiest way to get them on your boat is to compliment them on something they clearly care about, such as their clothes.
It lets them know you’re not judging them. That small gesture alone can open up doors that might surprise you.
Avoiding Bad Topics
Certain topics can set people off, regardless of how polite you are. These topics include politics, religion, sexuality, and finances. If you broach these topics, chances are that you might ruffle feathers. That’s why it’s best to avoid these, particularly with people who you have little in common with.
Get Zen
Now is a good time to develop a “zen” outlook on people. You do not have to become this person’s best friend; you don’t even have to become their friend. You just need to have friendly and cordial conversations. So, keep things lighthearted and superficial. If things get better, look at it as an added bonus.
Seeing Their Side
Sometimes, the best way to connect with a person who’s your polar opposite is to have them be your guide. For example, if you’re not a foodie and the person you’re talking to is a gourmet, ask them to bring you to their favorite restaurant. Taking an interest in their interests will make it easier to come into their world and feel welcomed.
Watch For Culture Clashes
When you’re from totally different realities, it’s easy to have a culture clash. What might be innocuous to you may sound very rude to them. It’s a good idea to mention that you might need some gentle tips when talking to them. Don’t be afraid to ask them if you’ve upset them or tell them to correct you if you say something rude. It can clear things up and help them realize you have no bad intentions.
No Gossip!
Gossiping might seem like a good way to bond with people when you can’t think of anything else to say. It’s not. Gossip, especially when it’s the only thing you talk about, will make you seem like a sketchy person. People avoid strangers who gossip because they know you’ll talk about them, too.
Ask For Help
If you’re still flummoxed, it might be time to ask a friend to act as a diplomacy booster. Enlist the help of a friend who seems to be able to get along with everyone. More often than not, having another friend bolster your conversation can help reduce any awkwardness you’re experiencing.
Keep It Short
Sometimes, even the best efforts at chatting don’t fly. If you notice the person in question looking bored, annoyed, or otherwise bothered, excuse yourself as soon as you can. More often than not, it’s not something you did. Rather, it’s something they’re currently dealing with.
Accept The Peachy Side
Sometimes, all the efforts in the world aren’t enough to win a person over. It’s good to know when to walk away. Don’t take it personally. As Dita Von Teese famously said, “You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there’s still going to be somebody who doesn’t like peaches.”
Don’t Force It
If you’ve already tried a few conversation topics, but the person in front of you keeps answering in monosyllables, maybe it’s just not the best idea to talk. Never underestimate the power of silence. Your interlocutor may be shy or introverted and prefer silence over chit-chatting about frivolous matters.
Talk about Today
You can always talk about your day if you are genuinely stuck but feel the pressure to keep the conversation going. It may not be the most interesting topic, but at least it’s something. Tell your interlocutor what you did and what you are planning to do. Are you joining your usual photography course this afternoon? Say so! You may discover he’s a photographer, too. Alternatively, ask the person in front of you about their day.
Talk About Common People
Is there someone both you and your interlocutor know? Then you’re saved! Just talk about them! The only rule? Avoid gossip and negativity, and you’ll be fine! ‘When was the last time you saw Andrew?’ ‘Oh yeah, he’s such a good guy!’ ‘I think he will graduate soon, right? Are you attending the graduation ceremony?’ Just keep talking about the people you know, and other conversation topics will arise.
Bring Up The Weather
The weather is one of the best, easy topics that absolutely anyone can discuss. There is little controversy when it comes to the sun or the rain, so it is a neutral topic that will make everyone feel comfortable. The weather also has such a huge impact on our daily lives, so many people are in tune with what is going on outside or what is forecasted to come. Discuss current weather, future weather or storms that happened in the past. Most people could talk about the weather for hours and hours.
Share a Fact
Do you have an interesting fact that most people don’t know? Now is the time to share it! Conversations can easily be started when you share interesting facts that others may find interesting. You can share facts about anything but be prepared to talk more about that topic. For example, did you know that there are one million ants for every one human on earth? Or did you know that high heels were originally invented for men? Start a conversation with any interesting fact, and you will easily talk for hours!
