16 Frequently Missed Signs of Loneliness and How to Identify Them
It’s perfectly fine to spend some time alone every now and then. However, it is not okay to experience constant feelings of loneliness every single day. Whether you are in a country where no one speaks your language, or you are struggling with your mental health, everyone deserves to feel included, loved, and accepted. Learning how to spot loneliness can help you acknowledge your situation and make changes to stop the struggle. Check out these 16 signs of loneliness that people often overlook. Use them to see if you or someone you know is having a tough time being alone. Knowing what to look for can help you provide support!
Note: The content of this article is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice. Always consult with a qualified professional for advice tailored to your individual circumstances.
Extreme Friendliness
Does a certain person in your friendship circle act like a Golden Retriever on steroids? Do they seem to cling to anyone who gives them the time of day or try to supply your crowd with goodies 24/7? While this might occasionally be a personality trait, it’s also a sign of loneliness.
People who are aggressively friendly are often trying to make friends because they are lonely. It’s their way of taking charge of a problem.
Oversharing
Oversharing can be a sign of many things, including autism. However, in many cases, trauma dumping and oversharing are both signs of loneliness. When you’re lonely, you don’t always recognize what topics are not deemed to be socially normal. You can lose that grip, even if you used to be social.
At times, sharing too much is also a major cry for help. It is a sign that they are trying to reach out in their own way to say, “I’m not okay, and I need someone.”
Getting Agitated
Does a certain person around you act like they are ready to burst into flames? Rage addiction is a possibility, sure, but so is extreme loneliness. You might get agitated or angry when you don’t have many friends or family around you. It can even be a part of the envy you feel from being the “odd guy out.”
Agitation often comes out as aggression, especially if the person feels excluded. If your friend has become unusually aggressive, a science-backed study suggests that loneliness could have something to do with it.
Substance Use
It’s an open secret that loneliness often means people will turn to alternative means to fill their needs. One of the most common ways people “patch up” feelings of loneliness is to use illicit substances. Whether it’s alcoholism, a pill addiction, or something else entirely doesn’t matter.
What matters is that lonely people are more likely to turn to addictions than a typical person would be. In other words, the person partying at a bar five times a week is probably very lonely—even if they do not appear that way at first glance.
Self-Isolation
Did your friend stop talking to you? Have they started to pull away from everyone around them? While this could be a warning sign that they’re trying to get their lives under control, it could also be a sign that they are lonely. Some people self-isolate after a certain point of loneliness because they feel unwanted.
When you get to a certain point of unwantedness, you just assume you’re not welcome no matter what you do or try.
Bad Friends
A person who is both confident and content with their social life does not put up with people who treat them poorly. On the other hand, a person who is desperate for social inclusion will tolerate behavior that typically wouldn’t fly with them.
In most cases, the person in question knows they are being treated poorly. They simply assume that they won’t get anyone to hang around with them if they don’t accept that treatment.
Verbal Handcuffs
When you talk to a specific person, does it feel like they purposefully keep the conversation going even though you’re trying to leave? Does telling them goodbye take 10, 15, or even 40 minutes? If so, this might not be just a personality quirk.
Some people will try to put “verbal handcuffs” on a person so they don’t leave. If they try everything in their power to keep talking, you should ask them if they’re okay. This is often a sign that they are desperate for conversation.
Work Obsession
Your office superstar might not just be a work fiend. While this is not always the case, many “workaholics” who seemingly live at work are just very lonely. Work is one of the only places where they get to converse with others or get praise.
Instead of taking a break to return to an empty home, they stay at work. At least at work, they don’t have to sit alone with their thoughts.
Holiday Hate
Loneliness tends to be the most noticeable during the holidays. This is especially true during major family days like Christmas, Thanksgiving, or even the 4th of July. If you have someone in your crowd who always seems glum during major days, they’re likely lonely.
It’s hard to ignore the hurt when you’re the only one you know without plans or an invitation. If you ask them and they say they have no plans, try to invite them out. It won’t hurt to try to give them a lift.
Inappropriate Behavior
If you’re isolated for long enough, your social skills and sense of appropriate conversation start to fade away. This makes it hard for people to gauge when they’re being weird, or when their conversations are squicking people out, or when they’re making others uncomfortable.
Most of these people have good intentions. However, their loneliness has made it nearly impossible to connect with someone without some help.
Social Media Mavens
Social media is one of those dead giveaways about a person’s loneliness. If they are always posting selfies of themselves or typing away, chances are that they are lonely.
Take a look at what happens in their stories. When they go out, do they post tons of photos and videos about how much fun they have? It’s a sign they might not be as happy as they say.
Buying Friends
When you go out, is there one friend who always seems to open up their wallet when you go out with them? A person who keeps buying drinks or other goodies might be a generous soul, but it also is a sign of something else.
Lonely people will often try to “buy friends” by offering them financial reasons to stick around them. It’s their way of trying to convince others that they’re worth befriending. (And yes, it’s a sign of desperation.)
Blaming Others
If you have a friend who recently moved to a new city or country, pay attention to how they describe the people around him. Is he constantly criticizing the locals? Saying they’re cold and lack empathy? It may be because he’s experiencing loneliness. When we find ourselves in these situations, it’s way easier to blame others rather than take responsibility for our loneliness.
Refusal To Talk About it
Sometimes, you may suspect your friend, partner, or relative feels lonely. However, every time you try to bring it up, you meet a radical refusal to dive into the subject. People often feel ashamed of not having a social circle to rely upon. If every time you try to talk about loneliness, the person in front of you shuts down, it’s a sign that he may be suffering from this right now.
Embarrassment And Shame
Unfortunately, most people are ashamed of their lack of friends. They may think this is a sign that something is wrong with them and feel embarrassed. If this is happening to you, it’s important to remember that plenty of people out there are experiencing the same feelings, and a lack of friends doesn’t necessarily mean something is wrong with you. Try to be nice to yourself and stop the blame.
Difficulty Sleeping
Loneliness can significantly impact your sleep patterns and sometimes even lead to insomnia. When someone feels isolated, their mind may start racing with thoughts and worries, making it hard to relax and fall asleep. A lack of social interaction can also contribute to feelings of anxiety and restlessness, making sleep even harder to come by. The extreme emotional burden of being alone can make it challenging to sleep peacefully and may be a sure sign that you are experiencing true loneliness.
