16 Ways To Be Included Instead of Excluded at Work

We spend such a huge chunk of our lives at work, so it’s no surprise that coworkers play a big role in our daily lives. Ideally, you’d have awesome colleagues who feel like a second family, but let’s be real. That’s not always the case. Sometimes, you might feel left out or excluded at work, and it’s not always clear why. Co-workers may ignore you or push you aside for unknown reasons, making you feel out of place and undervalued. But don’t worry! You’re not stuck in this awkward situation forever! Start with these fresh ideas that will help you navigate and maybe even flip the script on workplace dynamics.

Double-Check

Before you assume you’re being excluded on purpose, try to see if there’s a different reason as to why you might feel that way. Were you not invited to a department-specific shindig? Do you see people in a group chatroom that doesn’t include you?

Try to invite others to a drink after work, or try to follow them next time they go out for drinks. If they make a point of saying no or if they suddenly get secretive, then yes, you are being purposefully excluded.

Talk About It

Being proactive can clear up any miscommunications. You might not have actually been excluded at all. Now would be a good time to mention that you feel left out. Ask if you can join them whenever they decide to have lunch together, go for a walk, and so on. If they are still being evasive, you can assume that this is not something that will get better without serious discussion.

Asking Why

If you have a person you trust at work, pull them aside and ask if they know why you’re being singled out. Did you upset someone? Is it a racial issue? An issue with your personality? Sometimes, having that one person on your side can make it easier for you to make amends, smooth things out, and become a part of your team again. An easy fix!

Lawyering Up?

Exclusion is one of the most insidious forms of workplace harassment and abuse because it’s designed to make you feel unwanted. If you have reason to believe that you’ve been discriminated against, the exclusion could be a sign of discrimination.

Gather any evidence you have. Take notes of exclusionary behavior. Then, talk to a workplace discrimination lawyer. You might have a case that you didn’t realize you had.

Coping With Hurt

Perhaps the most devastating thing about working while you’re the “odd man out” is dealing with the fact that you’re not liked. It hurts. Rejection always will hurt, even if you don’t necessarily care about the people rejecting you. It’s okay to cry. It’s also okay to vent to coworkers who do like you. After all, you are struggling at work. It’s best, though, to consider getting professional help if it’s that devastating to you.

Obligations?

In some cases, excluding a coworker can be illegal. For example, if you’re in charge of a committee and your coworkers refuse to listen to you, that exclusion can harm your career. If your coworkers refuse to work with you, this could be a hostile workplace. Much like with workplace discrimination, you should talk to a lawyer. Workplace sabotage is NOT okay.

Reaching Out To Newbies

More often than not, new hires will be your saving grace. New hires don’t have the “beef” that your older coworkers might have with you. They may not feel like you’re a threat or a nuisance. In some cases, new hires can become the allies you need. They can also be friends who can make your job tolerable, completely changing your work environment.

Recognizing Jealousy

Many professionals act cold and icy to people they’re jealous of. Is the majority of the bullying coming from a higher-up who might feel threatened by you? Do you outpace your fellow coworkers? People who fear their livelihoods are at risk are often the very same ones who will exclude, bully, and sabotage their coworkers. It’s easier said than done, but you shouldn’t worry about these little people.

Strengthening Ties Elsewhere

Your workplace is not the only place where you can find companionship. Meetups and even your old college friends can offer the friendship you crave. A good way to handle things healthily is to reach out to friends in your other cliques. They can give you the morale boost you never knew you needed. That being said, you may consider changing jobs if things become too tough.

Not Alone

Sometimes, just knowing you’re not the only one who’s facing this can be a major relief. 71 percent of professionals have experienced some form of exclusion at work, so trust us, you’re not overreacting! Studies show that shunning can actually be more psychologically devastating than overt aggression. This is because we spend so much of our time at work!

Job Hunt

If things don’t improve over the course of four months, it may be time to brush off your resume and start job hunting. Go to those interviews, don’t tell a soul at your current workplace, and clinch a new job.

Exclusion is never a good sign for your future at an organization. You should not try to “stick it out,” or try to prove your worth to them. They already decided your time is limited. The best thing you can do is take the hint and move on.

Warn Others!

If you had a bad time at a workplace, you already know how much you wish you never applied to that job. Now would be a good time to pay it forward.

Let others know about your job experience. Don’t hold back details. Be upfront about those job reviews. If it’s really bad or illegal, warn others in the industry about what happened to you in person. You might be surprised at how much support you get.

Questioning Yourself

Whenever something is off, we can easily point our finger at others. But have you ever wondered whether you may be the actual problem? How is your job performance? Are you a reliable worker? Can your colleague trust you with deadlines? Are you agreeable to be around, or are you constantly complaining? Asking yourself these simple questions may help you figure out the root of the problem.

Join In

Another important question to ask yourself is whether you are unconsciously excluding yourself. This often happens to introverted people who may find meeting new people quite tiring. Do you tend to go to work gatherings? Do you participate in office events? How can you socialize and truly get to know your colleagues if the only time you spend with them is during working hours?

Be Patient

Being patient with both yourself and your colleagues is crucial. Things are not going to change overnight, and you will only be able to see positive results with time. Try to be kind to yourself and your coworkers and celebrate small victories. If you truly want to change your situation and are ready to put in the effort, you will surely be able to reestablish a good bond with them.

Figure Out Your Emotions Before Taking Action

When realizing that all our coworkers are excluding us, we often feel intense negative emotions. These may push us to react immediately, leading to a massive argument. Avoid this at all costs. This is your work environment. You are required to maintain a formal attitude no matter what happens. Instead, try to process your emotions first. What are you feeling exactly? Why are you feeling this way? Is something else going on in your life that may be affecting your current mood?