Is Your Child Being Bullied? Here Are 16 Ways You Can Help Them
Bullying is not an issue that should be treated casually. It is a serious problem and something that can affect a kid for the rest of their life. Bullies can undermine a child’s confidence, lead to significant stress, and might even cause physical harm. When you notice that a child is being bullied, you should quickly step in to help.
You can help a child who is a victim of bullying. Even the smallest bit of support can help stop the cycle and immensely help the child. Here is how you can immediately help.
Note: The content of this article is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice. Always consult with a qualified professional for advice tailored to your individual circumstances.
Listen To Them
The vast majority of the time, children want parents to take their complaints seriously. This is a great time to actually listen to your child vent and talk about who’s doing it. Don’t be afraid to ask questions about how it went down. The worst thing a parent can do is ignore their kids when they ask for help. If you offer advice, make sure it’s more than just “tell a teacher.”
Your Rights
If your child is being beaten up at school, they have a right to defend themselves in a manner that’s proportional to the aggression. You also have a right to press assault charges on any student who starts a physical fight with your child.
Now would be a good time to examine local laws regarding bullying. In many states, bullying is considered a crime.
Buy That Thing
Believe it or not, many kids are bullied because they don’t have “cool clothes” for school. It’s not fair, nor does it make sense, but it’s a legitimate issue. If your child mentions bullying’s ties to certain clothing items, it might be time to go shopping.
Though the clothes are expensive, they can be an investment that eliminates taunts and exclusion. If you haven’t tried this yet, give it a shot, at least with one item. It might help more than you expect it to.
Social Coaching and Therapy
Not all bullying happens as a result of jealousy. Another reason why bullying can happen deals with your own child’s behavior. If your child has a hard time connecting to others, it may make sense to ask them what’s going on.
Be honest with yourself. Does your child have a behavioral issue that could be worsening their bullying? It may be time to do some damage control. There are therapists who help children learn valuable social skills, build confidence, and learn coping mechanisms. Calling one for help can be a life-changer.
Reassurance
The one thing that most bullied children want from parents is reassurance. While there are some rare occasions where bullying starts as retaliation for something a child did, most children are not at fault for bullying. Jealousy and social order are the most common reasons for it.
Reassure your child that no, they didn’t deserve that. Then, tell them that it is not their fault, nor is it okay. Kids want to hear that they are valued, that their concerns are valid, and that they are safe telling you what’s going on.
Encourage Logging
Bullying is most likely going to be a repeat occurrence. If your child is dealing with repeat bullying, it’s best to start logging events and who they spoke to about it. Your child should approach the teacher whenever bullying happens and log it. The goal is not just to develop a paper trail. It’s to better understand who is doing it, why they are doing it, and who is trying to stop it. Certain organizations have templates to make this easier.
Parent-Teacher Talks
Let’s say that your child told the teacher, but the teacher didn’t do anything. That’s (sadly) normal. Once your child has approached teachers multiple times on their own, it’s time to hold a meeting with the administration. Sit down with the teachers and tell them that you are not happy with their handling of the bullying. Mention that there have been multiple attempts to work on a plan that keeps your child safe and happy but that the administration has been unwilling to work with you. Explain that you will escalate the situation if need be.
Chat With Parents
More often than not, even-minded parents can find a way to resolve things between kids. If the bully’s parents seem like reasonable people, calling them and explaining what’s going on can curb things. However, this is not always likely to work. If you’ve heard the bully’s parents tend to be difficult or violent, the only way this will be settled is with help from authorities. Thankfully, there are ways to handle this.
Lawyer Up
The easiest way to make a bully’s parents (or a school) realize that you’re not going to tolerate bad behavior is to make legal threats. Many lawyers who do workplace lawsuits also offer services for harassment or school-related suits.
Call a lawyer and ask them to write a cease-and-desist letter to the parents and school. When they see that letter, they’ll realize that they must rein in their child’s bullying. Consequences matter to bullies, their parents, and school administrators.
Police?
Did your child get physically threatened? Has your child started to feel unsafe? Did the bully actually hurt your child or steal something of theirs? If any of these are true, you can call the police and report the bully to them.
In most states, bullying is a misdemeanor or has serious legal repercussions. By calling the police, you can help keep your child safe at school. (And let’s face it, it’s better to be safe than sorry!)
New Friends
One of the hardest things for a bullied child to deal with is the loneliness and isolation they may feel. Bullying can make it extremely hard, if not impossible, to make friends at school. Thankfully, there’s a way that parents can support their kids through those tough times.
Now would be a great time to look for after-school clubs not associated with the school. Local libraries can be a godsend for this, as can local community colleges and park systems.
Switching Schools
Sometimes, bullying can be so bad, so devastating, and so intense that it can make it impossible for your child to function while at school. You should be aware that your child has a right to a healthy and safe learning environment appropriate for them.
If you’ve had to call the police or experienced an extreme scandal, now would be a good time to consider switching schools. This isn’t always a possibility, but it might still work for your case.
Pay Attention To Details
Many kids avoid telling their parents what they are going through for fear that the bullying will intensify as a result. If you are afraid your kid may be the victim of bullying, there are a few signs you should look out for. For instance, check if he comes home with dirty or torn clothes. Also, pay attention to drastic changes in mood and behavior.
Talk To The Bully’s Parents
If you have already tried to contact the school but nothing happened, you may want to reach out to the bully’s parents. If you opt for this solution, try to get a mediator to participate in the discussion, such as a school official or a counselor. Make sure to keep a polite tone throughout the conversation, and don’t lose your control.
Rebuild Confidence
Most victims of bullying experience a drastic drop in their confidence levels. Helping them rebuild their self-esteem and sense of worth is crucial. A good way to do so is by encouraging your kid to join local sports groups or activities he loves. These will help him build a new sense of self, boost his confidence, and create new friendships.
Get Active
Most kids have hobbies that they enjoy or activities that they are good at. Ensure you encourage your child’s interests and push them to be confident in their abilities. When your child is busy doing the things they love, they will be able to forget about the negative aspects of their life. They may not think about the bully at school while they are on the sports field or exploring a new nature trail. Make sure you get your kid involved in activities rather than remove them from all social situations just because of one terrible bully. Don’t let a bully stop your child from enjoying life.
