16 Warning Signs That Your Friends Are Fake

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Do your friends call you daily? Or do they ignore you for weeks? Do they invite you to every party, or are you often excluded? It’s normal to wonder if your friendships are real or just surface-level. We all do it! We all need good, true friends to help us live happy, fulfilling lives. We deserve good friends, not fake ones. Otherwise, it’s only a matter of time before we’re left feeling hurt and lonelier than ever. So, do you want to know if your friends genuinely love having you around? Here are some tips to help you figure it out!

No Invites

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If you like a person, you’ll invite them to hang out with you once in a while. You’ll be invited over to their place. They’ll want to introduce you to friends. They will have photos of you on social media. If you’re close, they also will invite you to major things like weddings.

A fake friend might not want to hang out with you unless they feel like they have to. When was the last time you got an invite from your buddy? If you can’t remember, they might not actually like you.

No Outreach

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While we’re on the topic of invitations, it’s a good idea to take a look at how often they reach out to you. If you stop talking to them, can you count on them to reach out to see how you’re doing? Take a break from calling them for a month or so. If they don’t reach out, you likely have your answer. However, remember that this is not a definitive answer, as they may have been extremely busy. It’s up to you to judge.

Talking Smack

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Talking smack isn’t always a sign that your friends hate you, especially if your group is known for bantering that way. However, there’s a difference between talking smack to your face and talking smack behind your back.

The moment you hear of a “friend” spreading rumors about you is the moment you need to cut them out of your life. They are not your friend. They’re hurting you on purpose. But then again, that should be something you learned in high school, right?

Call In A Favor

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Friends are there when you need them, both during the good times and the bad. Be honest: if you needed help, would your friends help you? If you had a major event to attend, would they accompany you?

If your friends are only there for you during good times, they don’t really like you. They enjoy celebrating with you. If they’re only there when you’re down? That’s even worse. That means they’re getting joy in seeing you hurt.

Sabotage

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This is a bit rarer, but it’s also a clear sign that your “friend” actually hates you. Did you catch them sabotaging your relationship with your spouse? Or worse, sabotaging your career?

Many serious snakes will befriend people only to undercut them when the opportunity strikes. If you see this, your “friend” never liked you. They saw you as a competitor rather than a companion.

Harsh Words

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Remember how we mentioned that talking smack is an indicator of a fake friend? You might want to be careful of the friend who seems to like insulting you as a joke, especially if it means humiliating you in front of others.

If you’re the only person in the group that everyone makes fun of or insults, that’s your sign that you’re not actually their friend. You’re the punching bag they bring along for the ride.

No RSVP

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This is (sadly) becoming more common as years pass. If you recently tried to throw a party only to have no one show up, that’s both traumatic and a sign that those people don’t like you.

The most egregious form of this is when you have your “friends” all tell you they’ll be there but don’t show up. Or when you get a barrage of cancellations at the last minute. Either way, the writing’s on the wall. They don’t like you.

“Me, Me, ME!”

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A person who doesn’t like you but likes what you do for them will quickly turn your relationship with them into a one-sided grab. Are you their personal therapist, babysitter, and ATM? Do they ever try to return the favor, or do they awkwardly smirk when you ask them for help?

While it may be a friend who simply doesn’t know how bad they are to you, the truth is that it’s usually a sign that they are using you. If they’re using you, then no, that’s not your friend. That’s a user.

No: The 4-Letter Word

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If you want to see exactly where you stand with a person, watch how they react when you tell them “NO.” Don’t give an explanation at first. Do they ask why? Do they get angry with you? Do they ghost you?

A person who gets angry or stonewalls when you don’t do what they say doesn’t like you. The same can be said of people who keep asking even though you’ve already said no before. They like what they get out of you and nothing more.

Sharing is Caring!

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If your friends like you, chances are that they’ll tell you what’s going on in their lives: the good and the bad. They won’t just tell you, either. They’ll invite you on their ride and also ask for your opinion on what they should do.

Think about the last time you learned major news about your friend. Did you find it out directly from them, or was it from Facebook? Did you get any updates at all from them or through their grapevine? If you have to scout around for inclusion, your friend doesn’t really like you.

Envy

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Envy and jealousy have killed more friendships than most people will ever realize. Most of the time, people have a little nagging feeling when they have a friend who’s envious of what they have. Maybe it’s a snide remark they made. Perhaps they even told you they’re envious of you.

Have people warned you that your friend has a jealous streak? Does it feel like they take a little joy in seeing you fall from grace? That friend of yours doesn’t like you. They’ve been hijacked by the Green Eyed Monster.

Trusting Your Gut

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More often than not, our gut instincts tell us when we’re not wanted somewhere or when we’re not liked. That nagging feeling that your buddy doesn’t actually want to talk to you, that feeling that you’re not really in the “in crowd,” and those subtle vibes that your friend resents you could be legitimate.

If you feel that your friend doesn’t actually care about you, chances are you’re right. Your gut is a powerful thing. Listen to it and act accordingly.

Lies

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People who only claim to be your friends will probably end up lying to you sooner or later. For instance, they may make up excuses for not coming to your party and create complicated scenarios to justify actions you found rude. Do you often get the feeling that your friend is hiding something? Then they probably are. If in doubt, ask other friends for their opinions.

Why Do They Reach Out?

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Some friends may reach out often but for the wrong reasons. Think about it. What do you tend to do when you are together? Are they calling you only when they need help, for instance, when moving to a new apartment? When they need you to look after their dog? Or do they genuinely call you to check how you are doing and share a laugh?

Humiliation

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Are your friends constantly humiliating you in front of other people? For instance, making fun of you in mean ways? While making fun of each other is often part of friendships, your friends should be careful about your weaknesses. Real friends know where their boundaries are, while fake friends are perfectly aware of your triggers and often use them against you.

Others’ Opinion

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If you have a few friends you can fully rely on, then introducing them to the people whose friendships you no longer trust can be the perfect solution. They can judge the situation from the outside and tell you whether these people are using you. Of course, if they always make us excuses why they can not come to meet your friends, chances are it’s not a real friendship.

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