14 Possible Reasons Why You Are Not Longer Affectionate With Your Husband

After years of marriage, most couples normally experience a decline in physical affection. While couples may no longer feel the need to touch one another, this doesn’t mean they no longer share strong feelings for one another. This article may be useful if you are experiencing something similar and would like to understand why this is happening. It’s not too late to re-establish physical connection, but first, we need to understand the core issues.

Note: The content of this article is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for
professional advice. Always consult with a qualified professional for advice tailored to your
individual circumstances.

Resentment

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Does your husband or you hold a grudge right now? How often does this happen? Often, the accumulation of different unresolved conflicts may lead to a lack of intimacy. Suppose we see our other half as a continuous source of conflict. In that case, we may become more distant and avoid interactions. If you resonate with this, then try to turn the tide. Perhaps you can agree on a time each week when you go for a walk and talk about what in each other bothers you. Talking openly is a great way to feel heard.

No Trust

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Do you think your partner trusts you? Are you being completely honest with him? Is there anything you are hiding? People can sense when their partner is lying to them, even subconsciously. This may lead them to refuse cuddles. If you went through a difficult betrayal together, you must give your partner the time to heal and rebuild trust. Don’t rush it!

Tiredness

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We all live busy lives and often feel low on energy when we finally have the opportunity to spend time with our spouse. After a hard day, it’s easy to just tuck yourself into bed and turn off the lights. However, finding time for one another is important, as is ensuring we spend time in intimacy. A few minutes at the end of the day spent snuggling will not impact your sleep but will strengthen your relationship.

Hygiene Issues

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Hygiene problems are often underrated yet can play crucial roles in marriages. After a long day, we may skip our bedtime routine, thinking we will just shower in the morning instead. But making these shortcuts into a habit will make our partner less inclined to touch us. Take a hot shower before heading to bed and brush your teeth.

Emotional Distance

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Would you say you and your husband are emotionally close? Does he tell you what bothers him, or do you need to make an effort to get anything out of him? Sometimes, we tend to keep our problems to ourselves instead of discussing them with our partners, thinking they would not understand or, worse, not care at all. Try to offer him opportunities to tell you what he is going through. Ask him questions about what’s on his mind and show him you truly listen.

Stress

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Most of the time, a lack of intimacy may be connected with external stress. While you’re wondering whether you did something wrong, the core of your husband’s issue may be his job, financial issues, or other external problems that, although impacting your relationship, have nothing to do with it. If you recognize this, maybe it’s time to book something relaxing, like a couple massage or a weekend getaway to a spa hotel. Letting some steam out can reset your relationship.

Past Rejections

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Did you ever refuse to cuddle with your husband in the past? If this happens repeatedly, there is a good chance that your partner will stop trying to get physically intimate with you for fear of rejection. No person likes to hear a ‘no’ from his partner. Luckily, there is an easy way to solve this. Simply be the one initiating and see his reaction. He will probably love to cuddle again.

No Respect

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Respect is the bedrock of a strong relationship. We are all entitled to our feelings and opinions. A strong marriage is a two-way street where partners must show respect to one another. If someone feels they are being steamrolled every time they disagree with your views, they will check out emotionally and physically from the relationship as they no longer feel valued. Make sure to recognize when a reaction would show disrespect and empower your partner to be themselves.

Low Self-Esteem

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Do you think your husband may suffer from low self-esteem? This may be due to several factors. Maybe you rejected him in the past, or he recently stopped working out and started eating unhealthy food, gaining weight, and losing muscle mass. Remember that low self-esteem may also be due to issues at work, for instance, getting fired or struggling financially. In times like these, it’s important to help the person emotionally. Set a time when you both sit down and let him open up about his struggles. It’s helpful to show compassion and confidence in your partner’s ability to turn things around.

Lack Of Non-Physical Intimacy

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Before trying to figure out why you’re experiencing a lack of physical intimacy in your marriage, you should probably ask yourself whether you also lack non-physical intimacy. Do you still spend lots of time together? Do you laugh? Do you tell each other everything? Are you still vulnerable with each other? Consider these questions, and you’ll probably understand why you didn’t cuddle in a while.

Taking Each Other For Granted

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How long have you been married? Five? Ten? Maybe even twenty years! After so much time together, it’s easy to fall into the trap of taking each other for granted. If this is your case, maybe it’s worth starting a daily gratitude routine when you both tell three things you are grateful for that the other person did.

Not Making Equal Effort in the Relationship

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A relationship is about everyone pulling their weight. As adults, and especially in a family, there are plenty of responsibilities but only so much time. It’s a team effort, and duties should be shared equally. If our partner spends his time in the evening watching TV or scrolling on his phone, while we are doing all the work, it’s natural that we will not find them attractive anymore. Make sure that there are clear boundaries in the relationship and that no one feels they are being exploited.

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