16 Clear Signs Your Partner is Future Faking You

Have you ever heard of future-faking? It’s a sneaky behavior where someone pretends to be serious about building a future with you, only to string you along for their own benefit. They’ll make big promises, talk about long-term plans, and paint a picture of growing old together, only for you to realize later it was all an act. If this sounds familiar, watch out for these signs that your current partner might not be as genuine about your future as they seem. Spotting these red flags early can save you from heartbreak and help you take control of your relationship and your future.

The Moment You Two Got Comfortable, All Talk Of Marriage Or Future Plans Dropped

This is the most obvious sign that you probably were future faked. If he kept talking about all the things he’d do but then stayed quiet after you two got together, he’s likely to be future faking. If he seems uncomfortable whenever marriage (or any future plans) gets mentioned, it’s probably because he’s trying to scuttle the issue, which is a massive red flag.

He’s Trying To Push For A Baby Or Moving In But Won’t Propose

Future fakers tend to want to get as much out of a relationship as possible without committing to a woman fully. If he’s hard up for money, he may push to move in quickly. If he’s a guy who wants a kid, he may push for a baby. Either way, it’s a bad look. If you tell a future faker that you want marriage prior to a move or a kid, they will often make it seem like it’s unreasonable or try to say they’ll do it “later.”

You Feel Like You Have To Jump Through Hoops For Commitment

The goal of future faking is to manipulate women into bending over backward for men. Men do this by dangling commitment in front of women as if it’s a prize. Women who have been future faked tend to feel like they have to dance and say “PICK ME!” for a guy to commit. FYI, you will never feel this way in a healthy relationship, so if you can relate, you should probably be skeptical! 

When The Marriage Topic Comes Up, He Kicks The Can Down The Road

Here’s a scenario you might have experienced… When you first start dating a future faker, he talks about all the amazing plans he has for your future together. You go all in to be with him. After many years or so, you start to notice that there’s no sign of a ring. Every time you mention the marriage talk, he hems and haws and then tells you, “Later.” You keep pressing it, and he keeps dodging the question. Does this sound familiar? If it does, you’ve been future faked.

He Doesn’t Apologize Or Take Accountability

Does he apologize when you try to confront your partner about broken promises? Does he simply not take accountability or try to explain that it’s somehow your fault? While this is not the most surefire sign of future faking, it does tend to hint at a major problem. Guys who do this are not emotionally available men, meaning they are more likely to be future-fake than others. 

It’s Clear He Wants To Keep You Separated From The Rest Of His Life

A man who wants to commit will be thrilled to flaunt you to his friends. A future faker, on the other hand, won’t want to do that. After all, future fakers are trying to keep their options open. Future fakers probably won’t introduce you to their family members or friends. They also won’t take you to events as a date. Why? Because you’re their dirty little secret. 

He’s Trying To Rush You Into Doing Things Financially Or Physically

Men who have nefarious reasons for dating will future fake to get what they want. Any time a man seems to poke around for financial favors, gifts, or physical intimacy you’re uncomfortable with is a time you should worry. Does he insist he’ll marry you after you buy a house with him? Watch out! Your partner is probably future-faking you right now.

You’re Beginning To Question If Your Desire For Commitment Is Unreasonable

Future faking has a strange way of warping your views on commitments and relationships. You start to think that it’s unreasonable to ask a man to commit to you, keep promises, and plan a future. Men who do this often try to convince women that marriage (or even “that romantic getaway”) is just too much to do. While giving freedom is essential, you need to find someone who shares your goals.

You Get The Nagging Feeling That He’s Trying To Keep His Options Open

One of the most common reasons for a man to future fake deals with settling. Men who future fake tend to believe they can do better than the woman they’re with right then and there. The reason why he’s not committing is because he doesn’t want to settle. He wants someone else. However, he’s too comfortable in the relationship to do the right thing and stay single. So, he’ll keep you around until you either leave or he finds someone better.

He’s Backpedaled On Commitment Before

A future-faking man will often temporarily promise commitment, only to pull back right when you believe you’ve “earned” that label. If he’s backpedaled on commitment before, that’s a bad indicator. He’s trying to manipulate you into staying with him. Don’t believe him when he says, “I was just about to buy the ring! Look!” Also, pay attention to what happened with his exes. Did they have similar feelings?

You Genuinely Get The Feeling That He Doesn’t Want To Marry You

Sometimes, the best indicators come from within. Think about how he reacted to getting engaged and how he behaves about commitment. Does it feel forced or insincere? Do you get that sinking feeling that he doesn’t want to commit or follow through on those plans? If you feel like he’s not thrilled about it, chances are he isn’t. Listen to your gut, it’s often right.

His Friends Paint A Different Picture

Do you feel his friends and relatives, such as his siblings, have a completely different idea of who your partner truly is? For instance, to you, he may be a serious man willing to commit to building a family, while to all his friends, he’s just the guy they call when they want to have some fun at the pub. If none of his friends think he’s serious, he probably isn’t.

You Are Not A Priority

A good way to see whether your partner is serious about commitment is to check whether you are on top of his priorities. Of course, you should not be his only priority; this is called ‘codependency,’ and you surely don’t want to deal with it. However, if you constantly feel that you are the last on his list of priorities, there is a good chance he’s not committed. Do his friends, relatives, and work all come before you?

Making Plans Is Impossible

Here is another way to figure out how truthful your partner has been. While talking about marriage and kids may be a huge step, what about a two-week holiday in a foreign country in a few months? Or a dinner with your friends and colleagues the following weekend? If you see that he hesitates to commit, it may mean he does not see his near future with you.

Over-Optimism

Weirdly enough, future fakers tend to be extremely optimistic regarding future planning. Why? A guy who is seriously committed will be concerned about the negative sides. For instance, he may raise questions about the budget for your wedding. On the other hand, a future faker will convince you that you will be able to get the best location and the most expensive dress, as his only goal is to keep you in this limbo.

Only Big Plans

If your spouse only likes to talk about big plans for the future but avoids day-to-day conversations, something may be wrong. Being in a long-term relationship is mostly about the everyday, mundane details. Normal conversations about your workday, what to eat for dinner, or what to watch on TV are what most real couples talk about. If your partner only talks about marriage, babies, and buying houses, they may be jumping into things way too quickly. There could be a hidden reason why they only talk about huge life events rather than including you in their daily, average life.