17 Warning Signs That You’re Dating and Emotionally Unavailable Man
Are you prepared to move forward in your relationship? While you may feel ready, your partner may not be on the same page. These red flags prove that he is definitely not on the same frequency as you are, and you may want to rethink the next steps in your relationship. Everyone reaches relationship milestones at different times, so it may just be a matter of waiting. However, there is also a possibility that your partner will just never want to settle down. Continue reading to discover what is true.
He Told You Point-Blank That He Doesn’t Want A Relationship Or Marriage
When a man tells you that he’s not interested in marrying you, it’s best you believe him. The same can be said if he says he doesn’t want to be in a relationship or if he’s saying that he’s still not over his ex. This is not him saying, “Convince me,” but rather, him saying it’s not going to happen. Whether you realize it or not, he’s already made up his mind if he told you no. It’s time to move on.
It Feels Like He Keeps You At Arm’s Length
Do you feel like he’s trying to brush you under the rug? If you feel like you’re constantly the one chasing him around, that’s a warning sign that you’re dealing with a very emotionally unavailable man.
A man who is emotionally available will have no problem bringing you into his life. He’ll introduce you to friends, reply to your texts, and more. If he’s not doing that, he’s not ready for you.
You Can’t Get Him To Open Up
A man who is genuinely looking for a relationship will want to share his thoughts and feelings with you. It’s a basic staple of intimacy. He will find ways to open up, even if it takes a little while.
An emotionally unavailable man is exactly what it sounds like: a man who literally in not available to share emotions with. He won’t open up. He won’t give you that intimacy, especially long-term. Eventually, you’ll start to feel like you’re dating a man with the heart of a cold brick of ice.
It Feels Like You’re Last On His Priority List
A good rule of thumb in dating is that you should feel like a top priority. An emotionally available man will prioritize his romantic partner and make time for you.
Men who aren’t emotionally available will not do that. In many cases, you’ll feel like you’re dead last on their list. They will constantly put other people (their mom, their ex, their work) above you. They also might even tell you they don’t prioritize you.
He Blows Off Plans
If a guy shows up late once, then he might be a little unlucky. If he continues to come hours late, expecting you to wait and blows off plans on a regular basis, he is not emotionally available. The same can be said if he just doesn’t make plans at all too.
Simply put, he might feel bad about it, but he doesn’t care enough actually to fix the issue. His lack of empathy and action means that he’s not capable of maintaining a relationship.
You’ve Noticed That He Has Serious Trust Issues
Healthy relationships are built on trust. A man who cannot trust his partner, even when given proof of innocence, is not a man who is emotionally available.
Dating a man with trust issues is a nightmare. No matter how good you are to him, he will not be able to trust that you care about it. He’ll almost always find a way to accuse you of something else. Rather than defend yourself to him, it’s best to walk away.
The Only Time That He Seems Commitment-Ready Is When You’re About To Walk
A large portion of emotionally unavailable people have an Avoidant attachment style. In other words, they avoid commitments and love because they are afraid of being hurt. So, they subconsciously (or even consciously) only desire people who are just out of reach for them.
This typically results in them only being attracted to people they can’t have and committing to people who don’t want them. It’s the hallmark of a man who will self-sabotage any relationship he gets into. You don’t want to get involved with this one!
Everything Is “His Way Or The Highway” In The Relationship
Do you find yourself compromising most of the time in the relationship? Do you find yourself walking on eggshells around him or being told to “just deal with it?” This is never a good sign because it means that you don’t feel like you have any power in the relationship.
Healthy relationships are ones where compromises are split 50/50. If he seems to call all the shots, chances are that he’s emotionally unavailable. Emotionally unavailable men will only date you if it suits their particular needs.
He Can’t Comfort You
Let’s say you had a bad day at work. You tell your partner. Does he comfort you? Does he even understand why you’re upset? If you are upset with him or hurt by his actions, does he apologize or try to make things better?
A man who isn’t emotionally available won’t comfort you, often because he just literally doesn’t know how. If he does know how to show some empathy, that’s an even bigger warning sign. It means he knows how to comfort you, but he just doesn’t care.
He Can’t Express His Emotions Or Communicate With You
Can he actually tell you what he’s feeling? Can he talk to you and also understand your point of view? Or, does he shut down, deflect, and distract you whenever he’s feeling a certain type of way?
An emotionally unavailable man might love you and want to express himself. However, he’s just not capable of it. He’s unavailable because he lacks the emotional maturity to do so.
You Feel Lonely When You’re With Him
One of the most fascinating things about relationships is that you can feel lonelier in the wrong relationship than you would being alone. If you’ve been feeling lonelier, more insecure, or isolated when you’re with him, that’s a bad sign.
Emotionally unavailable men lack the ability to give you that warm connection you yearn for. As a result, any relationship you try to establish with them will always feel lonely.
His Relationship History Is Suspicious
He might seem innocent, but does something seem a bit “off” about his dating past? A man who is emotionally unavailable will usually have a dating record that seems a bit suspicious.
He might not have had any girlfriends, or he may have only had flings. He might have a series of fiancees with whom he broke things off or a series of baby mamas that he doesn’t see. If any of those are true, there may be a fear of commitment that makes him emotionally unavailable.
Make no mistake about it, it would take a lot of effort on his part to change. Unless he’s done serious soul-searching, dating this dude will only make history repeat itself.
He Just Ended A Serious Relationship
People who just went through a divorce or a huge breakup after years of relationship often need time to heal before getting into a new love story. This is because they must forget about their past relationship and move on, which is quite difficult. If your partner just broke up with his ex, we are sorry to deliver the bad news, but chances are you are just a fling for him.
He Doesn’t Talk About The Future
What does it mean if your partner is unwilling to discuss the future, such as having kids and buying a house? It means he cannot and doesn’t want to imagine one with you in it. Whether you like it or not, if he constantly changes the topic whenever you talk about getting married, chances are he will dump you before any of this turns into reality.
You Are Not Part of His Life
A man who is ready for commitment will include you in every part of his life. He will give you a drawer in his dresser, he will introduce you to his parents, and he will bring you out with all of his friends. If you have yet to meet his parents or friends or see where he lives, he may be keeping you as an outsider rather than an integral person in his life. If you feel like you are a side note rather than a star, it is a sign that he doesn’t want you as a permanent major player.
He Doesn’t Want To Define Your Relationship
If your partner refuses to define your relationship, even after months of dating, it’s because he probably has no serious intention. This doesn’t mean that you necessarily have to be monogamous. Yet, establishing clear boundaries and a general path to follow for your future is essential to trust each other. If you still haven’t discussed what you are for each other, chances are you don’t mean much to him.
He is Insanely Lazy
A lazy boyfriend is like a couch potato in a relationship. He is just comfortable just lounging around, but not ready to put in the effort to take things to the next level. If he can’t muster the energy to plan a fun date or help out around the house, chances are he won’t be motivated to commit, either. He might enjoy the perks of a relationship without the responsibilities. If he’s not putting in the work, it’s a sign that he’s not ready to step up and truly invest in your future together.
