16 Myths About Emotional Intelligence That Are Holding You Back

Having emotional intelligence is such an important skill that is often overlooked. When you are able to understand how other people feel, you will be able to interact with them in productive, positive ways. But there are lots of misconceptions about emotional intelligence and many people don’t prioritize this topic. There are actually lots of false truths about emotional intelligence that we wanted to debunk once and for all. Take a look at these lies regarding emotional intelligence so you can learn the correct way to enhance and use this essential life skill.
Note: The content of this article is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice. Always consult with a qualified professional for advice tailored to your individual circumstances.
Myth: Emotional Intelligence is Inherited and Can’t Be Learned

Truth: Emotional intelligence is something that can be developed over time. While some people may have a natural predisposition for empathy or self-awareness, anyone can improve their EI through practice and learning. Skills like active listening, empathy, and emotional regulation can be cultivated with effort and dedication.
Myth: Being Nice To Others Is Emotional Intelligence

Truth: Emotional intelligence is not about being agreeable or pleasing others at all costs. It’s about understanding and managing your emotions and the emotions of others in an effective and appropriate way. Sometimes, being emotionally intelligent means setting boundaries, giving tough feedback, or making decisions that might not be popular but are in everyone’s best interest.
Myth: High Emotional Intelligence Means You’re Always in Control of Your Emotions

Truth: Being emotionally intelligent doesn’t mean you never experience strong emotions or always have them under control. It means that you are aware of your emotions, understand their impact, and can manage them constructively. Everyone has moments where they feel overwhelmed or upset, but those with high EI recognize these feelings, understand their source, and work through them in a healthy manner.
Myth: Emotional Intelligence is Just About Recognizing Your Own Emotions

Truth: While self-awareness is a key component of emotional intelligence, it’s only part of the equation. Emotional intelligence also involves understanding and empathizing with the emotions of others. This requires skills like active listening, reading nonverbal cues, and being attuned to a group’s emotional atmosphere.
Myth: Emotional Intelligence is Only Important in Personal Relationships

Truth: Emotional intelligence (EI) is crucial in all areas of life, including the workplace. High EI can lead to better teamwork, communication, and leadership in professional settings. People with high EI can be more effective because they can manage their own emotions and the emotions of others, be better leaders, and create a positive work environment.
Myth: People With High Emotional Intelligence Are More Likely To Avoid Conflict

Truth: Emotional intelligence doesn’t mean avoiding conflict; it means handling it in a healthy and productive way. Those with high EI understand that conflict is a natural part of relationships and can lead to growth if managed correctly. Instead of avoiding disagreements, they approach them with empathy, open communication, and a focus on resolution.
Myth: Emotional Intelligence Is Fixed And Can’t Change Over Time

Truth: Emotional intelligence is not static; it can grow and develop with experience and conscious effort. Life experiences, self-reflection, and new skills can all contribute to higher emotional intelligence. Just as you can improve your cognitive abilities through study and practice, you can also enhance your emotional intelligence throughout your life.
Myth: High Emotional Intelligence Guarantees Success

Truth: While emotional intelligence is a significant factor in success, it is not the only one. Factors like technical skills, intelligence, work ethic, and even luck also play critical roles. High EI can give you an advantage in navigating complex social situations and building strong relationships, but it is not a magic bullet. Success is multi-faceted, and emotional intelligence is just one piece of the puzzle.
Myth: Emotional Intelligence Is Just About Managing Emotions

Truth: Managing emotions is an important aspect of emotional intelligence (EI), but EI also includes understanding emotions, using them to facilitate thinking, and managing relationships effectively. This means that EI is about controlling your feelings and leveraging emotions to make better decisions, solve problems, and connect with others.
Myth: Only Extroverts Have High Emotional Intelligence

Truth: Emotional intelligence is not limited to extroverts; introverts can also possess high EI. In fact, introverts often excel at self-reflection, a key component of emotional intelligence. They may also be more attuned to the emotions of others and better at listening and empathizing. Emotional intelligence transcends personality types and is more about how you understand and manage emotions.
Myth: Emotional Intelligence Means Suppressing Negative Emotions

Truth: High emotional intelligence is not about suppressing negative emotions but about recognizing, understanding, and managing them in a healthy way. Suppressing emotions can increase stress and emotional outbursts later on. Those with high EI acknowledge their negative emotions, process them, and use them as signals to take appropriate action.
Myth: You Either Have Emotional Intelligence, Or You Don’t

Truth: Emotional intelligence is not a binary trait you have or lack. It’s a spectrum, and everyone has some level of emotional intelligence that can be developed further. By practicing self-awareness, empathy, and emotional regulation, you can improve your EI over time. It’s a continuous journey of growth and learning, not a fixed characteristic you are born with.
Myth: We Should Always Be Rational At Work

Emotional intelligence doesn’t mean being able to repress your feelings. It’s a way to learn how to understand and use your emotions to determine whether you need to change something in your life. If you constantly feel upset and stressed in your office, stop repressing these emotions. Instead, try to understand why you feel this way and devise solutions. Negative emotions may indicate that this is not the job for you!
Myth: Emotional Intelligence Is All About Empathy

While empathy is surely a great skill we should all learn to develop, there is way more when it comes to emotional intelligence. Only understanding how other people are feeling and why is not enough. The most difficult part for most of us is understanding why we are feeling a certain way and – most importantly – how to cope with it. Always remember, practice makes perfect.
Myth: Emotional Intelligence is For Adults

We all start to develop emotional intelligence at a young age. In fact, teaching a child how to read other people’s emotions is essential. It is a skill that will take them very far in life! Kids who are able to understand howtheir peers and adults are feeling will be better equipped to make long-lasting, positive relationships. Teach children about emotions and the signs to recognize emotions in others as one of their earliest skills.