Warning Signs Your “Friend” Doesn’t Actually Like You

Whether you’re 10 or 100, there’s a chance you have a friend who might not really be a friend. Fake friends are a real issue—and they always have been. It can be hard to figure out whether or not someone’s being real with you or if you have a snake in your circle.

Sometimes, the signs are pretty obvious. Other times, things can be more subtle. Regardless, these warning signs suggest you should watch your back.

No Invites

If you like a person, you’ll invite them to hang out with you once in a while. You’ll be invited over to their place. They’ll want to introduce you to friends. They will have photos of you on social media. If you’re close, they also will invite you to major things like weddings.

A fake friend might not want to hang out with you unless they feel like they have to. When was the last time you got an invite from your buddy? If you can’t remember, they might not actually like you.

No Outreach

While we’re on the topic of invitations, it’s a good idea to take a look at how often they reach out to you. If you stop talking to them, can you count on them to reach out to see how you’re doing?

Take a break from calling them for a month or so. If they don’t reach out, you likely have your answer.

Talking Smack

Talking smack isn’t always a sign that your friends hate you, especially if your group is known for bantering that way. However, there’s a difference between talking smack to your face and talking smack behind your back.

The moment you hear of a “friend” spreading rumors about you is the moment you need to cut them out of your life. They are not your friend. They’re hurting you on purpose. But then again, that should be something you learned in high school, right?

Call in a favor

Friends are there when you need them, both during the good times and the bad. Be honest: if you needed help, would your friends help you? If you had a major event to attend, would they accompany you?

If your friends are only there for you during good times, they don’t really like you. They enjoy celebrating with you. If they’re only there when you’re down? That’s even worse. That means they’re getting joy in seeing you hurt.

Sabotage

This is a bit rarer, but it’s also a clear sign that your “friend” actually hates you. Did you catch them sabotaging your relationship with your spouse? Or worse, sabotaging your career?

Many serious snakes will befriend people only to undercut them when the opportunity strikes. If you see this, your “friend” never liked you. They saw you as a competitor rather than a companion.

Harsh Words

Remember how we mentioned that talking smack is an indicator of a fake friend? You might want to be careful of the friend who seems to like insulting you as a joke, especially if it means humiliating you in front of others.

If you’re the only person in the group that everyone makes fun of or insults, that’s your sign that you’re not actually their friend. You’re the punching bag they bring along for the ride.

No RSVP

This is (sadly) becoming more common as years pass. If you recently tried to throw a party, only to have no one show up, that’s both traumatic and a sign that those people don’t like you.

The most egregious form of this is when you have your “friends” all tell you they’ll be there, but don’t show up. Or when you get a barrage of cancellations at the last minute. Either way, the writing’s on the wall. They don’t like you.

“Me, Me, ME!”

A person who doesn’t like you but likes what you do for them will quickly turn your relationship with them into a one-sided grab. Are you their personal therapist, babysitter, and ATM? Do they ever try to return the favor, or do they awkwardly smirk when you ask them for help?

While it may be a friend who simply doesn’t know how bad they are to you, the truth is that it’s usually a sign that they are using you. If they’re using you, then no, that’s not your friend. That’s a user.

No: The 4-Letter Word

If you want to see exactly where you stand with a person, watch how they react when you tell them “NO.” Don’t give an explanation at first. Do they ask why? Do they get angry with you? Do they ghost you?

A person who gets angry or stonewalls when you don’t do what they say doesn’t like you. The same can be said of people who keep asking even though you’ve already said no before. They like what they get out of you and nothing more.

Sharing is Caring!

If your friends like you, chances are that they’ll tell you what’s going on in their lives: the good and the bad. They won’t just tell you, either. They’ll invite you on their ride and also ask for your opinion on what they should do.

Think about the last time you learned major news about your friend. Did you find it out directly from them, or was it from Facebook? Did you get any updates at all from them or through their grapevine? If you have to scout around for inclusion, your friend doesn’t really like you.

Envy

Envy and jealousy have killed more friendships than most people will ever realize. Most of the time, people have a little nagging feeling when they have a friend who’s envious of what they have. Maybe it’s a snide remark they made. Perhaps they even told you they’re envious of you.

Have people warned you that your friend has a jealous streak? Does it feel like they take a little joy in seeing you fall from grace? That friend of yours doesn’t like you. They’ve been hijacked by the Green Eyed Monster.

Trusting Your Gut

More often than not, our gut instincts tell us when we’re not wanted somewhere or when we’re not liked. That nagging feeling that your buddy doesn’t actually want to talk to you, that feeling that you’re not really in the “in crowd,” and those subtle vibes that your friend resents you could be legitimate.

If you feel that your friend doesn’t actually care about you, chances are you’re right. Your gut is a powerful thing. Listen to it and act accordingly.