The Complete Guide To The SMBC Movement And Why it Matters
Who says you need a partner to have kids? You really don’t! More and more women are ditching the wait for Mr. Right and embracing the joy of becoming Single Moms By Choice (SMBC) right now. It’s an empowering movement that’s growing fast, and you might be surprised at how liberating and fulfilling this option can be. So, are you a little curious if SMBC is right for you? Keep reading to learn what this bold and exciting path to motherhood is all about. You might just find that youre the perfect fit for the SMBC journey!
Note: The content of this article is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice. Always consult with a qualified professional for advice tailored to your individual circumstances.
Introducing The SMBC
There are many different types of single moms. Single Moms By Choice, or SMBCs, are women who have decided to become single mothers without a breakup involved. In other words, they chose to have kids when no boyfriend, husband, or partner was in sight.
It’s an increasingly common family style. For some, it’s the option they need.
Bad Dating Outcomes
Most women have experienced at least one bad date that made them rethink dating altogether. If you take a look at the overall outcomes of modern dating, it’s easy to see why some women don’t want to date anymore. It can be incredibly hard to find a guy who wants kids, is stable, and is actually compatible with you.
Some women might not be able to find Mr. Right in time to still have children. In the past, this often meant that babies were out of the question.
Bad Relationships
Other women may have had promising relationships, only to have their partner refuse children at the last minute or deal with abuse later on. Whether it’s due to trauma or just realizing that it might be too late to start over again, they may decide that it’s time to quit trying to find a partner.
In the past, this also meant that kids were out of the question.
Becoming A Single Mom By Choice
Rather than continue on their quest for a husband first, women are taking reproduction into their own hands. Thanks to adoption, sperm donation, and fertility treatments, women can now choose to become single mothers without too much of a hassle.
As the dating pool continues to falter, it’s becoming a more attractive choice to women around the world.
Is It Right For You?
If you’ve been let down by men before when it comes to reproduction or have been getting close to the age of 35, you might want to consider it. There’s only a small window of time that you might have to become a mom. If parenthood is an absolute must for you, being an SMBC might make more sense.
Even if you’re officially single, it’s a good idea to look into communities that will help you as a new mom. It still takes a village to raise a child, you know!
Still Stigmatized
For the most part, SMBCs have a good lifestyle. It’s one that many “married, single moms” and divorcees eventually enjoy. For many women, the biggest downside is the issue of cultural stigma. While SMBCs are happy with their lives, people often assume the worst about them.
Stigma can lead to issues with family members, communities, and even work-related problems. It can be a lot for moms to deal with.
Financial Blocks
There’s also something to say about the issue of finances. Having two people bankroll a baby makes life easier than just having one who does it. A woman who chooses to be a single mom may have to make backup plans in case she loses her job or becomes unable to work.
If you’re seeking this out for yourself, a chat with a financial planner can help you figure out your needs.
What Method?
Another important factor to consider is the method of having a baby. Surrogacy and adoption are available for moms who can’t carry children to term. They can be quite expensive. On the other hand, if you can carry to term, having a sperm donor might be the best option.
It’s good to talk to a fertility professional or a free family planning service to figure out what you need.
Alternatives To SMBC
Another option that may suit you well is co-parenting. Co-parenting involves being a parent with a platonic partner, often switching custody week after week. There is no romance in a co-parenting arrangement, though, in the case of divorces, there may have been love in the past.
You don’t have to be divorced to be a co-parent. There are online sites where you can meet other like-minded individuals.
Good For Kids?
There are still concerns over what being raised by a SMBC could mean for children. After all, decades of studies show that a two-parent household can lead to better outcomes for children. However, it’s safe to say that having a loving parent is still going to be better than having two parents who aren’t as caring.
Moms Support Moms
The good news about being an SMBC is that you don’t always have to “go it alone.” Online communities for single moms of all types are popping up to help support you. So while it can be rough at times, it’s clear the SMBC trend is here to stay…and that’s great for all families involved.
Fully in Charge
One of the many reasons women are now choosing the SMBC movement is that they are fully in charge of raising their kids. This means that they won’t have to reach a compromise with their partner on their parenting style, enjoying complete freedom on how to raise their sons and daughters according to their preferences.
Less Support
On the negative side, however, being a single mom is synonymous with plenty of duties and responsibilities. While relatives and friends will probably be there to help you, not having a partner to share the highs and lows of parenthood is surely more challenging. Make sure to keep this in mind when deciding whether SMBC is right for you.
No More Waiting
One of the best parts of being a single mom by choice is that you don’t have to wait around for the right spouse to come along. You can become a parent when you are emotionally, physically, and financially ready. Your choice for parenthood does not depend on anyone else. Many women who wait for a spouse find they are middle-aged and still waiting for children. The SMBC option takes away all that waiting!
