16 Harsh Realities of Being a New Mom That No One Talks About
Becoming a mom is an amazing experience. There are so many incredible things about being a new mom, but there are also a lot of challenges. Many people never talk about all the hardships a new mom may face on a daily basis, but these things need to be addressed. As you face these hurdles of motherhood, it is important to remember that you are not alone! Moms everywhere experience these things, and it is about time we all talk about them in hopes that addressing these issues will make motherhood a little bit easier. We just know that moms everywhere can relate to everything in this article.
Note: The content of this article is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice. Always consult with a qualified professional for advice tailored to your individual circumstances.
Post- Birth Pains
Many new mothers are surprised by the intensity of physical recovery after childbirth. Whether you had a natural birth or a C-section, your body needs time to heal. Pain, soreness, and discomfort are common. For those who had natural births, issues like perineal tears or episiotomies can make sitting and walking painful, while C-section moms deal with surgical recovery.
Baby Blues
Hormonal shifts following childbirth can cause mood swings, anxiety, and feelings of sadness, referred to as the “baby blues.” However, for some women, these feelings can develop into postpartum depression (PPD). PPD is more severe and long-lasting, affecting your ability to care for yourself and your baby. If you are feeling depressed, sad, or even just overly tired, consult your doctor, as they will be able to help you.
Breastfeeding Battles
Despite the common belief that breastfeeding comes naturally, it’s not always natural. Many new mothers face significant challenges like latching issues, nipple pain, and concerns about milk supply are common problems. Breastfeeding can be incredibly time-consuming, and lactation consultants can provide valuable support, but it’s essential to be patient with yourself and seek help if needed.
Sleepless Nights
One of the most challenging aspects of new motherhood is sleep deprivation. Newborns have irregular sleep patterns, and their frequent night time awakenings can leave you feeling utterly exhausted; the saying goes like “Sleep when the baby sleeps” sounds good in theory but is often impractical. On top of this, there’s always something to do, from feeding and changing diapers to managing household chores.
No ‘Me Time’
Newborns require constant attention and care, leaving little time for yourself. This lack of personal time can lead to burnout and stress; finding moments to relax and recharge, even briefly, is essential for your well-being. It’s important to reach out to friends and family, join new mom groups, or connect with others going through similar experiences. Schedule a little bit of “me time” every day, if possible. Even a few minutes alone can make a world of difference.
Body Issues
Significant changes happen to your body during pregnancy and childbirth. Many women struggle with their postpartum appearance, dealing with stretch marks, extra weight, and changes in skin and hair. Giving yourself grace and remembering that your body has done something unique is essential. Your body will bounce back in due time; you just need to be patient.
Intimacy Strain
Having a baby can strain your relationship and affect intimacy with your partner. Taking care of a newborn with sleep deprivation can lead to tension and disagreements. It’s normal for your physical intimacy to change after having a baby; communication is vital to navigating this challenging period together. Your world has just completely changed and you both need time to adjust.
Multitasking Madness
Multitasking becomes a necessary skill for new moms. Juggling baby care with household chores, work responsibilities, and self-care can be overwhelming. Finding a balance and learning to prioritize is crucial. You need to find a routine that works for you and also expect this routine to continue to change as your baby gets older. Every new phase of life will bring a shift in what is normal.
Unwanted Wisdom
New mothers often receive many unsolicited advice from well-meaning family, friends, and strangers. While some advice can be helpful, it can also be overwhelming and confusing. Trusting your instincts to know what suits you and your baby best is crucial. Take other people’s advice lightly and try not to be rude. They mean well, but you, as the mom, make all the decisions.
Guilt Trip
Many new moms experience guilt, whether it’s about their parenting choices, returning to work, or not enjoying every moment of motherhood. In the age of social media, slipping into the comparison trap is all too common. Seeing other moms’ highlight reels can make you feel inadequate. Remember that everyone’s journey is different; what you see online is not the whole picture.
Bleeding
Most mothers are surprised by the amount of blood they lose after giving birth. Like a period, the bleeding will start quite heavily and slowly fade away with time. Unlike a period, however, this type of bleeding may last up to six weeks and will be brownish. So, buy plenty of pads or sanitize your menstrual cup because you will surely need them.
Feeling Trapped
When you have a new baby, you will likely be stuck at home for quite a while. Many new parents decide to stay home with their babies in the first few months, fearing the little one may get exposed to bacteria and germs. However, many doctors say that it is completely fine to go outside with babies in the first 1-2 months. Being stuck in one place can be hard for a mom. You are no longer free to go wherever you want, anytime you’d like. Instead, you are trapped at home, very often alone, with a new human for whom you are responsible. It can be claustrophobic and lonely.
Identity Crisis
You may think you are fully ready to become a mother, yet some people still have to face an unexpected identity crisis once their child is born. Some new moms may associate this period with a crisis that leads them to think they have completely lost their freedom and previous lifestyle. While you will surely need some time to adjust to this new role, remember that eventually, you will be able to get your previous freedom and lifestyle back, at least in part.
Social Life Struggles
Unfortunately, having a newborn baby in the house also means that your social life will probably be dead for quite some time. Unless your friends are willing to come to your house and listen to your little angel crying and shouting occasionally, you will have to say goodbye to your social circle for some time. We highly suggest you hire a babysitter to hang out with friends and avoid loneliness.
Monetary Strain
Having a baby is a huge financial endeavor. From hospital bills at birth to the constant need for diapers, it is not cheap to have a child. Many moms are surprised by how expensive it can be to have a new tiny baby. Mothers who choose to stay home with their children may also feel more strain since they do not have an income. On the other hand, moms who go back to work may be faced with the high cost of daycare. There is no way around it: babies cost money, and it is good to face that fact, make a plan, and accept that the expense will never go away.
While becoming a mother is a joyous and rewarding experience, it also comes with many challenges that many are unprepared for. Acknowledging these challenges and seeking support can help new mothers navigate this transition more smoothly.
